What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Yes sir it is.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

After a few moments he returns.

Are there any guys, crossdressers, or transgender girls here who wear tampons?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

HELLO

How do you say "I don't speak French yet, but I hope to speak it well one day. It would be a pleasure to learn French with you. Would you like to teach me French?" in French? Could you add audio?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

What do feminists mean when they say they want to ‘normalize’ menstruation and its discussion?

Sure no problem officer.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

{RING} {RING}

I want to have anal sex, but my wife refuses. What do I do?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

What are the most significant instances of romantic jealousy in the Harry Potter series?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?